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weight is never an easy subject, but it can be especially risky when parents approach the issue of diet and weight with their teenagers.
"No girl ever lost weight because his mother told him she was pregnant," a friend advised me when I worry about the size of my adolescence .
It is she was right, according to a study by University of Minnesota researchers appearing in JAMA Pediatrics . Based on a large sample of adolescents and parents, scientists have found that children whose parents talk to them about eating by focusing on the weight or size of children - to tell them whether they were heavy or could get fat if they continued to eat the way they did - were more likely to engage in unhealthy behaviors such as heating go on extreme diets, fasting or laxative use, or pick up eating disorders such as binge eating. But children whose parents focused only on how to eat healthy returns and avoid judgment about their weight were less likely to have eating problems. And overweight children whose mothers talked to them about healthy eating had far fewer problems than those whose mothers did not discuss eating in a healthy way.
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About 60% of mothers and fathers with adolescent overweight talked to their children about their weight, but only 40% of adolescents who have had conversations centered around healthy eating turned to unhealthy eating behaviors compared with 64% of those whose parents focused on their weight. The effect was particularly strong when fathers were involved in these discussions with their daughters, and concentrated on weight rather than talking about healthy food in general. "Dads should never comment on girls or girls body," said Mary Jo Rapini, co-author of "Start Talking: Guide a girl for your Mom about health, sex, or other ... "instead, she suggests, parents should focus on the skills or interests of their daughters, and can help them" feel loved by their father and confident enough to work on their body problems ", they say it.
According to lead author Jerica Berge of the study, the results should be a revelation for both parents and doctors, who are often asked by anxious moms and dads, "How do I talk to my child on weight or eating behavior "
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the answer, she said, is to avoid attracting the attention to how your child looks or how much they weigh; instead, talk to them to be healthy and does not compare to the other or to an ideal reference weight. "It should never be the way they look because we all come in different shapes and sizes," says Dr. Dyan Hes, a pediatrician and obesity expert New York City who was not involved in the study.
"Framed in a way that gets them excited," said Laura Williams, an exercise specialist and founder of GirlsGoneSporty.com. "You want to climb the highest peak of the state then we need to start training and eating the right fuel - more fruits and vegetables, lean protein and whole grains"
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? Give teens an immediate goal, or reason to improve their eating habits, can be an important motivator, said Lisa Gatti, nutrition consultant and founder of culinarytherapyonline.com. If they care about quality, she said, "tell how to eat healthy foods will help you think more clearly and say focused." The same strategy can work if your teen is a runner or exercising - eat nutritious meals can help to perform better on the field.
It's all about the presentation of the importance of eating well and being healthy in terms that are relevant to specific needs and interests of a teenager. And, experts say, it is helpful for them to understand that whatever they decide to eat, and the consequences of these decisions are under their control. Conferences on what they do wrong, and forcing them to change the way they eat "because it is good for them" can backfire and lead them to pick up the habit even unhealthier. "Nobody likes to be controlled," said Nancy Anderson Dolan, clinical director of WiseHeart Wellness. "Everyone likes to be understood and helped"
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These conversations are definitely tricky, and the latest results suggest that the stakes are higher than parents would think. Because the study found a slightly greater effect in changing eating habits children when fathers were involved in the discussions, said Berge ideally both parents must share the responsibility. But it only if, and this is a big if- both mom and dad can really focus on healthy eating and do not wear judgment on the size. If this is impossible, said Dr. Elizabeth Lombardo, a clinical psychologist, physical therapist and the author of "A Happy You", "Select the parent whose interactions evoke less stress and demonstrates good health eating. "
experts also say the weight of conversations should not be the domain of each child. A healthy lifestyle - which includes a nutritious diet and plenty of regular exercise for everyone - should be a family business. An effective way to improve the eating habits of adolescents is to shop and cook with them, and organize family outings that physically hold the assets.
Especially, set a good example. If you want a child who eats right and exercises, do it yourself. Children learn to watch what you do, not what you say. My mother overweight, for example, never leave me more than a Cookie- so I would not be "fat". But I knew where she hid her chocolate bars, and I sneaked out of hiding. Mom is gone, but the legacy of these forbidden candy is still losing weight challenging. "Parents need to look in the mirror first," says Dolan, "and deal with their own problems, both on prejudices and habits of healthy weight." This can go a long way toward making conversations on a healthy diet with their own productive children.
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